Every December, the same promises resurface. We tell ourselves that next year will be different, that this time we’ll follow through.
Most of us already know how that story ends. By February, the promise has slipped away—not through lack of willpower, but because it was never built to hold on its own.
In his TEDxAtlanta talk, Why You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself (and How to Stop), Walt Brown offers an insight that lands especially hard this time of year: promises don’t work well in isolation.
Walt was a self-professed serial promise breaker. Diets, health goals, and commitments tied to serious moments in his life—all made with good intentions, all eventually broken.
Over time, those broken promises did more than slow progress. They quietly eroded his trust in himself.
What helped him make sense of that wasn’t a productivity system or a mindset shift, but philosophy. Drawing on the work of Yale professor Stephen Darwall, Walt points to a simple idea: a promise only carries real force when it’s made between people and explicitly accepted.A promise made to yourself doesn’t quite meet that standard. There’s no second person to receive it, no shared moment of acknowledgment and no relationship holding it in place.
Seen this way, the problem isn’t discipline; it’s design. Promises weren’t built to work alone.
What Changed When Someone Else Was Involved
The turning point in Walt’s story didn’t come from stricter habits or renewed determination. It came when someone else was involved.
When his wife committed to supporting him, the effort became shared. Accountability stopped feeling abstract, and progress was no longer driven by self-imposed pressure. Trust—mutual and visible—did the work instead.
That same dynamic shows up in Walt’s work with organizations. Companies make promises constantly, whether through job descriptions, values statements or the way meetings are run. When those promises are vague or quietly broken, trust thins out. When they’re clear and consistently honored, something steadier takes hold.
Teams perform better not because culture slogans suddenly work, but because expectations are actually upheld.
A Different Way to Think About the New Year
Atlanta is a city shaped by connection. Progress happens because people show up for one another across neighborhoods, networks and communities.
Walt’s talk suggests that personal change works much the same way.
So instead of asking, What promise will I finally keep this year? it may be more useful to ask, Who needs to be part of it?
As the New Year approaches, that shift matters. It’s not about more willpower or a better resolution. It’s about recognizing that promises—like communities—tend to hold when they’re shared.
We chatted with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith to get to know one of our CTRL+ALT+DEL speakers.
I am currently working on my next book. I love all the new information I learn while researching and having the opportunity to frame the research with stories to help bring it to life.
I am a board-certified internal medicine physician. I have been practicing medicine now for over 20 years. Healthcare has changed a lot in that time. One of my favorite parts of my job was the ability to help teach patient how to be pro-active in their health care.
Now with the time restraints on office visit, there isn’t adequate time for patient education. This is why I started writing. I could begin the conversation with a patient and could supply additional details via a handout. Writing handout evolved into writing blog posts and now into three traditionally published books (Set Free to Live Free, Come Empty, and Sacred Rest). Each book opened the door to speaking engagements which has lead me to many stages including TEDx.
I’m passionate about helping people recover their life. It wasn’t long ago when I found myself burned-out and overwhelmed by the life I had created. I had a life that looked good on the outside with all the trimmings of success but that same life wasn’t one I enjoyed living. I had to make some hard choices about what success means to me and about what my best life looks like. From those choices came my life work at IChooseMyBestLife.com where I help other overwhelmed type-A high achievers get their life back on track. I get to engage in my passion with my personal coaching clients and when I’m creating new content for my online courses. I love breaking down complicated concepts to making them easy for anyone to understand and begin applying to their life.
I am currently reading Imperfect Courage: Live a life of Purpose by Leaving Comfort and Going Scared by Jessica Honegger. The book that has made the biggest impact on my life has been Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits by T.D. Jakes.
I would encourage anyone wanting to learn more about overcoming burnout, sleep-deprivation, and a chronic rest deficiency to take my free assessment at RestQuiz.com to determine what area of their life is having the greatest negative impact on their ability to stay energized, happy, and productive.
My favorite TED Talk is 12 Truths I Learned From Life and Writing by Anne Lamott.
My CTRL+ALT+DEL moment is best described in the opening chapter of my book Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.
“There should be a “Get Out of Your Responsibilities” card you can play on those days when life is just too difficult, days when everything within you wants a moment simply to be still. That thought flittered through my mind as I lay stretched out on the foyer floor. I never knew how hauntingly healing cold wooden planks could be for the body. I never realized the many facets of peace and rest available when you lay yourself down on purpose. Peace comes in many forms. On this day it came in a ten-minute reprieve in the middle of the chaos that had become my life. There was no time to break away and do it right.
No time for any long, drawn-out me-time ritualistic activities. No mani-pedi.
No hot tea and biscuits. No caramel macchiato. No Dead Sea salt–infused bath.
No, on this day, time would not allow me to bury my exhaustion in any of my normal vices. So, I did what any sane burned-out human would do after picking up the kids from daycare. I set them in front of the TV with a snack, and I lay on the floor. I stretched out my back against the boards, palms down, and closed my eyes. In that moment of focused ceasing, I felt the beginning of peace stir within my body.” (Excerpt courtesy of Hachette Book Group)
The epiphany I had was that I had no idea what qualifies as rest. I learned the most underused chemical-free, safe, effective medical treatment we have available is spelled R-E-S-T. I spent the next years of my life researching types of rest, reviewing the current research, and seeing how different rest strategies work in real-life. We all need CTRL+ALT+DEL moments to refresh our perspective, revitalize our passions, and help us to remember our purpose. These moments set us back on course to living our best life.